Sex in the Fish Tank
What a Fish Taught Me
I owe a debt of gratitude to Whiskers the Romeo of the
fish tank. Whiskers taught me a lot about the indomitable
instinct for the male to breed. Whiskers really had
only two vocations, sex and feeding. And when he was
feeding he truly acted like he was missing out on breeding
time – bolt it down and get back to breeding was
the maxim.
Now this behaviour left the constantly harassed “women”
of the tank more than a little stressed. Increasing
the size of the female population did not help either.
Whiskers truly knew that he was God’s gift to
female fish. This situation soon came to a head as the
tank became saturated with Whiskers' progeny.
Now as the tank owner I had numerous dilemma as to
possible solutions. I arranged for the local pet shop
to take progeny as they matured. Whiskers amour was
prodigious and the progeny could not mature fast enough
to alleviate the overcrowding.
Ownership of a fish tank does create conundrums. A
simple solution was to flush one or any number of fish
down the toilet. But one quickly learns with fish that
they feel pain, they get crabby, they get frustrated
(sexually and otherwise) and they are incredibly capable
of learning new behaviours. These are beings in microcosm
– fish beings.
To own something is to do with it as you please –
waste it, break, it neglect it, throw it away, be as
irresponsible as you wish – it does not matter
as an owned thing has no rights. The rights are vested
in the owner not the owned. The trouble is that intuitively
I knew that Whiskers had rights and I had responsibilities.
In effect I did not “own” Whiskers.
After much rumination I realised I was the steward
of Whiskers' little aquatic world. It was my choice
to care for Whiskers and his harem and a duty for myself
to create the optimum conditions for their well being
given my stewardship. Did I own the glass tank? No,
I was the steward of the tank too as to neglect the
tank was to neglect Whiskers himself.
You can see where this is leading. We are taught that
we can own something and that we get security from ownership.
The fundamental tenant of consumerism is ownership.
Along with owning comes all rights being vested in the
owner. Any thing, idea or property is at the whim of
its owner irrespective of outcomes. Anything that is
not owned or cannot be owned has no value and has none
of the rights, protective or otherwise, as conferred
through ownership. All rights are vested in the ownership.
We have created corporations as having the same rights
vested as that of an individual owner.
What happens when one becomes a steward instead of
an owner? Well in the first instance the separation
between owner and owned is now removed. One forms a
symbiotic relationship where one maintains, uses and
nurtures the possessed with the realisation that having
finished with it one passes the possession onto someone
else to do the same. Things, concepts, properties come
into and move out of your life in a continuous flow.
You use them by choice and when you need them no more,
rather than neglect them, you pass them onto someone
who can use them. You are in relationship with the “stewarded”
– it is inseparable from your well being as to
neglect it is to neglect/abuse the nurturing part of
yourself. (We need new words and meanings attributable
for this as these concepts are not in everyday use.)
You relationship to the world changes too. Everything
has value. Stewardship is communal – one lives
in ever increasing networks of relationship. One picks
and chooses what and how to steward. One is not alone
in stewardship as one intuitively feels being part of
a life giving web of possibilities. I will leave you
to explore these possibilities.
Lastly (or should I say most recently as I am sure
there is more to come) my relationship with my own self
is changing. I have realised that the concept of ownership
has been imprinted on my personal identity. I was conceptualising
the various aspects of self and body as owned –
again permission to wilfully use and neglect as I please.
To be steward of self is to imply a whole new relationship
– to value and guide. This begs the question –
who is the steward – where does the stewardship
reside? The age old question, become the observer and
the observed, so who is the observer?
More did come – who mentors the observer? Mentorship.
Me thinks there is another musing coming on mentorship
and self mastery.
Namasté
Stephen
Vardy
2004.10.23
Victoria BC Canada
+250.598.6679
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