Dear
Friend
Today you gave me a good idea. Start
a newsletter, print articles become an expert and I
thought “I can do that!” I have the skills,
considerable knowledge and I have been an expert before
in other fields. Piece of cake.
Blah!
And that is also the point; why do again
what I have already done? Gain and advantage –
okay, say I but is that it? My fame will spread, I will
make money, people will seek me, I will be important
in other’s lives – and yet??
Something does not feel right. As I explore
what I know I find that my knowledge limits me. What
I know keeps the blinkers on. It binds my world into
my own defined self vision. There are moments when I
get a taste of a different knowing – a broader
and more expansive knowing which is not nearly as confined
as my self defined knowledge.
You may notice how many “I”s
are in the above writing. This newer “knowing”
comes from the part of me that observes the “I”
in all its glory. This observer “Self” is
kind, gentle, compassionate and loving in a way that
the “I” does not comprehend. It offers me
peace. The “I” chatters on about gain, advantage
or loss while the observer self simply offers abundant
peace and deeper wisdom. A wisdom from the All. A wisdom
from beyond the limited “I know”.
So the more I know the less I know. The
more I define my world into self limiting knowledge
at the surface [small picture] the less knowing at a
deeper level [the big picture]. Conversely, if I let
go of my ego identification with my knowledge and allow
for other possibility, my Self offers a more profound
deeper [words escape me] knowing. An integration with
That What Is.
So the more the “I” knows
the less knowing is apparent therein for that Who I
Am.
And what about the passion? I am no longer
passionate for self limiting, self defining knowledge.
I used to be, craving ideas and concepts. At best knowledge
is now a tool for me but it is more like a drawn stage
curtain obscuring my life rather than a beacon bringing
fame from the world that it once was.
So yes I can do a newsletter and website
to become an expert but there is no passion. I would
rather open the curtains on That What Is rather than
shine with fame for my self limited “I”.
Is this who I am?
Thanks dear friend for I paradoxicly
know less now and am knowing more as a result of your
help.
Namasté
Stephen
Vardy
2006.01.27
Victoria BC Canada
+250.598.6679 |
