You
see yourself as a realist - a bottom line person. I
see myself as a visionary, a generator of opportunity.
Under stress you watch the bottom line while I seek
to maximise opportunity apparent. If neither perceived
outcome is abundant respectively anxiety ensues. As
a realist you see opportunity as secondary to accepting
an immediate "security" even if it is not
enough to sustain. As a visionary I willingly sacrifice
cash in hand for more perceived opportunity in the future
that just "might" be sustainable. One only
trusts tangibles and the other only trusts the ephemeral.
In each other's eyes we are both insane.
One drops a future for a "few coins" and the
other risks "everything" for something that
does not even exist!
To have success in life one must have
a vision of where one wishes to be, a simplicity of
insight, an elegant outcome. One must also have a grounding
in the current reality which is again a simplicity.
A practical how it is, a concrete reality point. When
one holds the two together, vision and reality, a complexity
of opportunity is thusly created for both effecting
change and creating choices towards a successful outcome.
If the vision is held and the intent is consistent,
one moves towards a successful outcome through a process
of small steps from one's then current reality towards
one's final vision. To be successful one needs both
vision and reality held together where the ultimate
outcome is supported from the then current reality.
This is a dynamic process has built in feedback with
ourselves consciously moving between the two points
held. Success is not an either/ or - it holds both.
Otherwise, one risks living being labeled as a pessimist
or a dreamer.
I see you, my fellow argumentee, as not
feeling emotionally validated if there is no immediate
financial return for your effort. This is the most extreme
when under overall financial stress. To alleviate the
stress you grab what you can. I leave you to understand
why you emotionally do so.
When I am financially stressed I grab
what I can too but I grab the ephemeral. I broaden my
options as wide as possible with little concern for
the immediate reality.
When you take what I perceive as, rightly
or wrongly, financially unsustainable steps in order
to immediately validate yourself, to alleviate your
anxiety, you, however, pull the psychological rug out
from under me. I experience strangulation, a very real
fear as I see no way out. No vision, no opportunity,
only non-sustainability. Ultimately, I experience no
hope.
That is the crux of the matter for me.
I "die" as I feel there is no hope. I die
as the fear is so great that I am consumed. I die because
I experience that there are no choices. It is hopeless.
The abyss.
And then the miracle happens: I am able
to embrace the fear, the fear of a child, a learned
fear from the past. I am able to accept, honour and
surrender to this child's fear, my child, me, myself.
I am one again. The hopelessness is gone. There is hope
now. This is who I am, who I truly am. I can be grounded
in reality and have vision.
As a child, I had internalised the belief
"I dare not hope because only bad things happen".
I experienced reality as hopeless. As an adult, I sought
an alternative in an externalised future, living vicariously
outside of the internal hopelessness. As an adult I
had lost my child's belief and feeling about that hopelessness
into the subconscious thereby confusing and interpreting
a controlling, manipulating attitude towards maximising
opportunities as being hope.
Such is the anatomy of an argument. Two
sides entrenched in fear, neither daring to hear the
other. For one to accept the other is to die. To accept
the other is to see a dirty dark secret about ourselves
hidden in the mists of time. To confront a fear and
defining belief from the past that rules us, that is
non-functional. So we remain frozen without the experience
of choice until we uncover the dirt; the process of
re-membering with who we truly are. Then we can both
experience the freedom of choice. Life brings wonderful
gifts all-ways.
Namasté
Stephen
Vardy
2004.09.30
Victoria BC Canada
+250.598.6679
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